no i believe you. it truely does hurt inside but if we can survive through the hurt we can survive through the healing.
- don’t hate men
- don’t want to oppress men
- don’t think women are superior to men
Stop spreading bullshit just so you can justify your hatred of feminists and women. The feminists you’ve met probably don’t hate you because you’re male, but because you purposely misinform people so you can continue to live in a world where men are privileged.
Hey, I got fucked about too so I know how you feel. You probably think I don't but I do. I'm sorry.
I wake up to see that its him. every single night. I feel him watching me. I can feel him breathing down my neck. Everywhere i go he is there, just keeping an eye on me. Yes I try to escape but he knows me to well. Sometimes he likes to scare me. make things happen for no reason. I’m not so terrified as I was when I first started seeing him when I was a little girl. People always talk about imaginary friends. but this, this is a demon. He feeds off my anger, frustration, my depression. I ask him why me? He just looks and smiles, nothing more. When im at school, he makes sure he is present. When I’m with my friends he makes sure he is present. When I’m on my way home he makes sure to let me know he is right there besides me every step of the way. When I’m there in my bed at night, he always stands in the corner, watching, lurking, studying. He knows me well, he has seen me grow up. Hes comfortable. Hes not going anywhere.
we met on the internet. He messaged me to get to know me. everything went okay at first. I wasn’t really interested but something about him kept telling me to talk to him. I gave him my number and five minutes after he texted me. He seem nice, funny, very handsome. Some time goes by and we get to know each other more and more. He asked me if I wanted to hangout. I thought to myself well why not. He didn’t live so far. On a Friday I told my parents that I was sleeping over at a friends, which was no lie, but I sure wasn’t spending the whole afternoon and night there. He picked me up at her house and we took off. He was ever more handsome in person. We had a connection like as if we had known each other our whole lives. We went to this spot which I assume he took all his girls to. We sat there and smoked a pack of camels, just sharing our relationship pasts. We seemed to get along very well. After all that we went to catch a movie. As we sat in the movie theaters he found some cheesy excuse to hold my hand, which I admit I fell for. After the movie had ended we drove around for a bit and then he took me back to my friends house. He walked me to the steps and we shared our first kiss. I thought that maybe he wasn’t that interested in me so I didn’t get my hopes up. I thought maybe he just felt bad cause he knew right away he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I went into my friends room and we talked about my date all night, like most girls would. He texted me a bit later. He told me that he had a really good time, and that he had really liked me. I was shocked. I told him that I had really liked him too. We set up another date. He picked me up after school and we went to an antique store. We looked around admiring all the fantastic stuff. We sat down and he grab my hands, he looked into my eyes and he said your beautiful, I melted inside. He wanted to take me on another date but pick me up from my house. I asked my parents but they refused to let me go out until they had met him. I figured well that’s the end of that. I told him what he had to do. At first I thought well its nothing serious so he will say no and we will just leave it at that. I told him and he said he wanted to meet them. I didn’t know what to say. He told me he wanted to take me out more so he would meet my parents just so he can see me. Was this serious? What is he getting outta all this? The day was a Friday when he came over to meet my parents. We all went out to a boathouse to eat seafood. It had went better than I imagined. He was perfect. For about two months we had been going out seeing each other He was everything I wanted. I noticed something had changed the third month of going out. He was very distant. Replying to my messages late, not seeming to want to go out. always working. I was getting kinda worried but not to much. I figured that since we had been dating for a good amount of time that sooner or later he would ask me to be his girlfriend. It was july and his birthday was coming up. At this time the distance feeling had gotten worse. We had a talk about it and for some reason being in a relationship got into the conversation. He asked do you want me to ask you to be my girlfriend? I told him well I’m not going to lie I do want that, I mean we had been dating for a while. He told me he didn’t think he was boyfriend material that he wasn’t ready yet. That hurt me to hear that, It hurt me allot The next day was his birthday. It was just a normal day. The next day he told me that don’t worry, we were gonna be fine, that we were going to get back to how we were before. I wanted to believe him but it just didn’t feel the same anymore, but I still stayed, like an idiot. I should of broke things off. I was stupid. For a couple of days he didn’t even text me. I will always remember this day, I was in summer school. It was early in the morning and I was taking a test. I got a text from him saying we needed to talk. I knew what was happening. I texted back saying just get it over with and break things off. And he did so. He told me that he was sorry and had days to figure this out. I lost it. Who was he to break things over text? I walked out of the classroom and called him. Our conversation got heated quickly. I was so angry and sad, I had no idea what was even coming out of my mouth. For my three friends who were there that day I am truly sorry you had to see me like that. I was not myself. I was a demon. After I calmed down with him over the phone, I just collapsed. being over dramatic as usual. I had to go back to class but I did not want to. My friend came up to me and told me to get up, we are going back to class. Then she spoke into the phone that he was not worth my tears or my time. I hung up on him. That was it. That was the end. I did not talk to him after. Months had gone by. I got over it finally. I was no longer wounded. I felt like myself again. One night I was over at a friends house drinking. I had a bit more than I can handle so I passed out. I woke up to a text at 2 in the morning It was him. He had texted me. My stomach dropped. All my blood had rushed to my head. My hands had gotten hot. I opened the text which it said we needed to talk. I replied with just a simple what do you want. He then went on texting me that he was so sorry for what he had done to me. HE told me that he should have never led me on like that and that I was beautiful, nice, and amazing, and that I deserve the best. He had told me that he had got out of a long term relationship and that he was only looking for someone who was there for him. No relationship intended. I forgave him. But I didn’t forgive myself. I should have known. I got myself into that mess. now, Even though im over it all, I will always be considered, The rebound girl.
I write allot about stupid things I am sorry for that but I feel like I have to get this off my chest. I know this is stupid that I continue on the want for his friendship but I just cant help myself. I miss Coty Dearmond. I miss his friendship even though he did not want to be friends with me. I miss talking to him, texting him. I miss the way he was always a sarcastic mother fucker, just like me. I want him to know that I miss him. I want to be his friend again but I know that its probably not going to happen. Let me just get the chance to tell him i’m sorry. please im dying over here.